


Parenthesis

by KaySwanMills



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), swan queen - Fandom
Genre: AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-21 23:31:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6062194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaySwanMills/pseuds/KaySwanMills
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because making love to her was the only way that she could express what she couldn't say with words, what could only be said with caresses after five years of love and waiting, five years desiring to touch her body, go through it, kiss it…love her…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Parenthesis

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language...sorry about any mistakes

Friday

Regina spent her day like a caged lion in her office, hysterical and restless… that Saturday Emma was coming to see her, and she hadn't been able to do any of the things she had planned to greet her because she had ran out of time. Caught in the daily rush, jumping from chore to chore, she kept postponing what she had planned to greet her, and it wasn't until today that she realized she had no more time left. Emma would arrive the next day, and Regina was angry with herself because she let the whole week go by without preparing anything. She thought about sending flowers to Emma's room so she would see them when she arrived to the hotel, but it was already 8:00 at night, and there were no flower shops open. She also thought about buying wine, the same wine they talked about all these years while they chatted and exchanged e-mails, so that Emma could find out what the national wine tasted like. She thought about taking her modest car to be washed and waxed, and even thought about changing the seat covers for new ones. Perfume candles for their first meeting would have been nice too, but it was already Friday, and she hadn't been able to do any of these things.

The nervousness was evident in Regina up to the point that her boss asked her a couple of times if everything was alright at home, if she had an ailing family member or what kept her in that state. There are some things that you certainly cannot hide. Having the chance to meet the woman with which she built a relationship that went from friendship to confidants to virtual lovers in the past five years, even when that possibility had been out of Regina's plans, wasn't something that happened every day. It was definitely something that happened only once in a lifetime.

What had started as innocent chat conversations, since neither one of them was looking for something else like most people were, had taken an unusual turn in both of their lives. They couldn't deny the attraction, nor could they avoid acknowledging the thousands of miles that stood between reality and the possibility of a real relationship, therefore their resistance the first couple of months. They promised not to fall in love, which of course they couldn't avoid. They were both conscious that this love had no future, and they jointly decided that it was best for both of them to look for someone else in their countries. A lot of things happen in a person's life throughout five years. Things changed in both of their lives while the only constant was the unconditional care for each other, the physical attraction, the sensual and sometimes overtly sexual advances, the intimacy, the complicity… so many names to call that relationship that couldn't be defined or explained rationally. The heart has reasons that reason does not understand says the well-known and very fitting phrase in the case of Regina and Emma. Both Regina and Emma are very different from the women they were when they first crossed paths in that chat room where they had logged in to kill boredom. Emma had made so much progress in her professional career that she had no trouble paying for this trip at all. Throughout these years she met a couple of people that didn't turn out to be meaningful. Regina on the other hand went through all kinds of trouble, from family to economical issues as well as some work issues. During that time period, she went into a deep depression that only Emma was able to notice. She was able to get out of it to a great extent thanks to Emma's constant support back then. While she was thinking about all this, Regina was still bewildered, unable to believe that she would see Emma the very next day. She was still angry for not focusing on the welcoming preparations to match Emma's hopeful anticipation, when she announced that she was coming, and that she wouldn't take no for an answer. Regina had decided to hide from Emma because she felt she didn't have anything to give, that she couldn't offer anything to this woman that loved her in a way that no one else had done before. Seeing Emma was one of the things she had desired most, her rational and logical mind told her that she had no right to hold Emma back for the sake of a virtual love relationship that had slim chances of ever turning into something real. If you truly love someone, you don't nullify them nor sever their wings, Regina thought, so she just pulled back emotionally from Emma in the hope that she would make other decisions regarding her life, maybe even stop loving her and open her eyes to new possibilities and meet someone else. However, the stubborn insistence of Regina regarding this issue didn't wear down Emma's obstinate love. The first time that Emma suggested to come and meet her, Regina said no and hid as far as possible from Emma out of fear. She feared that her life would fall apart. She feared the morning after Emma would be gone. She feared the pain. She had promised herself not to cry over Emma, so she didn't give a second thought to the pain she had caused Emma with her refusal.

All kinds of things happened in the life of Regina after that episode, things that led her to say "no" when Emma proposed to come a second time. Truth be told, Regina also needed to see her, to have her in front of herself and confirm that the most solid thing she had in the past five years was real and not just a bunch of words in a chat room and hundreds of e-mails. Even when she finally agreed, it was hard for Regina to grasp what was happening to her. It was not her own resistance or fear that was getting in the way but the fact that that she was about to live the biggest experience of her life.

"Just a few days Regina…a few days without promises, without reproach, without demands, without plans for the future… a few days for us, a few days of perfect love, just a couple of days that will allow us to keep going without falling apart. A parenthesis in the passing of days, that's all I ask for". That was Emma's proposal, and Regina said yes, remembering the words Emma had said one night in the chat room, that she much rather have one night of perfect love than never knowing that love at all.

Saturday

Regina went into work early, and oh how she detested those hours… those hours that would make the waiting for Emma much longer. Emma made a good point when she said "I want to hug you, but it would feel awkward with so many people around," so they agreed that she would take a taxi from the airport, and Regina would meet her there when she got off work. There had been too much going on throughout the morning, so this allowed Regina to keep busy and conceal the nervousness that grew with every passing minute. She was full of fears and doubts. Would she like Emma? Would Emma like the outfit that she had chosen for their meeting or was it too formal? In any case she didn't have any spare time to go and change into more casual clothing. Even more so, she didn't want to waste time doing that, so that's why she picked a two-piece black suit and a red shirt. She would have preferred to wear something more enticing, but then again she wanted Emma to see her everyday life, to see the woman that communicated with her daily and not the one that gets all dressed up for a night out. She just hoped that she didn't look too formal to put off Emma or that Emma would think that she was pretentious.

Those hours were the longest in Regina's life. She took a look at her watch about three hundred times, all anxious with a knot in her stomach because of the wrecking nerves. At three o'clock she got off work and went straight to the hotel after picking up her car from the car wash.

She spent more than ten minutes parked in an adjacent street outside of the hotel trying to calm down, getting some air and giving her heart enough time to slow down. She got out of the car and walked up to the entrance. She stopped for a few seconds to gather her courage and got to the front desk. The woman at the front desk welcomed her with a smile.

Good afternoon, how can I help you?

I'm looking for Emma Swan; she must have arrived this morning.

The few minutes that the lady at the front desk used to look up for the information were the most tense for Regina. Her heart was beating irregularly expecting a "no ma'am, there's nobody registered under that name". The clerk raised her eyes and smiled.

Yes ma'am, she's here, hold on a minute.

She dialed Emma's room number while Regina's stomach tightened in a bigger knot and her heart was almost jumping out of her mouth. She listened to the brief conversation with Emma and the click of the phone when she hung up.

Go ahead ma'am, she's in room 1101.

Going through every floor was a real torture, and Regina's heart was beating against her ribcage with a new and unknown force, not like anything she had ever felt before. She stepped out of the elevator, walked down the corridor and double-checked the number 1101. The door was ajar, but she gave a couple of knocks on it before going in. She stepped in and saw her, standing in front of the window. Emma regarded her as someone who's observing the eighth Wonder of the World and mumbling.

God, I can't believe it…

Regina froze completely, unable to do anything else other than look deeply into Emma's eyes, wanting to make sure that this was real. Emma approached her, Regina opened her arms, and Emma wrapped hers around Regina's waist. The embrace was simply perfect. Regina could feel Emma trembling from her head to her toes, or maybe it was her who was trembling, it was hard to tell. It was impossible to tell who trembled the most or which heartbeat was stronger. They let go from each other for a bit, and Regina ran her fingers over Emma's face, feeling her breath agitated, and she felt the texture of her skin with the tip of her fingers. She needed to convince herself that her eyes were not lying to her, that this time she was looking at the real person and not a photograph. She loved everything about Emma, her green eyes, her lips… she had imagined her shorter, but that was not important. It was important however that she loved her thin body that she could wrap completely in one embrace. She wanted to squeeze her until she got her inside her chest. She couldn't speak. Words failed her; they could not come out of her throat. Emma on the other hand was uttering words all along; meanwhile she was caressing Regina's face.

You are such a beautiful woman… how beautiful…look at those eyes…won't you say anything?

You are taller than what I thought – were the only words that came out of Regina's lips in a rush, completely out of context.

Emma laughed in that peculiar way she had, with her mouth, her eyes and her soul reflected on her sight. Watching her smile was too tempting. Regina got closer, and their lips met for the very first time in a real kiss. All doubts and fears disappeared with that kiss. Even her balance disappeared because without knowing how, Regina fell and Emma fell on top of her. She never knew if she got dizzy, or if the world simply vanished in that instant. The truth is that both of them ended up on the floor, staring at each other laughing.

Emma had said without promises, without demands and maybe, just maybe if Regina wanted it too, she would love to make love to her in that encounter. While Emma only hoped to make love to her, Regina was absolutely sure that if she had Emma in her arms that's what she would do. Regardless of how much she had tried to deny it, and despite that she told Emma that nothing would happen between them, in that moment with Emma's body on top of her, feeling the warmth of her skin, she knew that she couldn't avoid making love to her.

Because making love to her was the only way that she could express what she couldn't say with words, what could only be said with caresses after five years of love and waiting, five years desiring to touch her body, go through it, kiss it…love her… Five years desiring to touch her breasts, feel her naked skin against hers, getting to see Emma's excited face and know what her orgasms sounded like when she reached her climax. She wanted to explore that body since their first embrace seemed to fit just perfectly.

Their laughter died down and gave way to seriousness and anxious hands trying to unbutton garments, the need to caress each other right there on the floor, kiss again… They got up off the floor and sat on the bed. Regina freed Emma's breasts and these sprung erect, aroused. They were perfect, just like she had imagined them in those nights of cyber passion of the early days. Her hands kept exploring Emma's thin body.

Do you like me?

I love you woman… I love you so much…

They are not even real, ah! Emma teased and Regina's reply to that was to grab Emma's right breast with her mouth and go across it with a sensual lick that made Emma shiver.

I don't think so!

Emma grabbed Regina by the neck and pulled her in for a deep passionate kiss. God! How much she loved this woman! How fortunate and blessed this parenthesis was, even if she had to suffer the pain of her departure in three more days, all that mattered in this moment was this. She helped Regina take off her shirt and then unclasped her brassiere, she wanted to see her, fully appreciate her without her clothes, naked, eager. They kept looking into each other's eyes as they were undressing and throwing their clothes into a disordered heap beside the bed.

Emma proved to Regina that she wasn't kidding when she said she knew how to use her mouth for other things besides kissing. She was able to drive Regina crazy. They spent hours making love, looking at each other, touching each other, talking…

(Written by Emma on her diary later. "I saw you arrive and your face showed fear and doubt. I was trembling so much that when I hugged you I wasn't sure if it was my body that couldn't hold itself. I couldn't stop trembling until your arms brought me peace and assurance. It was impossible to stop touching you, drawing the lines of your face with my fingertips, my eyes covered every inch of you taking in every detail. God…what a beautiful woman you are! I have never before seen eyes as beautiful as yours, my hands wouldn't quit on their eagerness to touch you, like independent entities doing their own will in their insistence of knowing you as truth and existence. And there you were, in front of me, and words and time just banished. I fell silent in the presence of such greatness, of such a moment. I didn't know how to react. The anticipated kisses, such beautiful lips, your peaceful eyes, the texture of your skin, your small waist that has the perfect size for my arms. I need to recognize those hands, your smell… you are real both in my body and my soul… you are real Regina! The first kiss, such a strange sensation, I feared rejection so much. I feared that we wouldn't get along, that I wouldn't be able to touch you… but the sky turned golden and red…")

Sunday

Regina had to go to her mother's house to do some things, but she managed to return to the hotel fast enough to find Emma waiting for her with a smile on her lips. She hugged her as if her life depended on it. Every moment apart was a torture. They went out for a stroll. Regina was delighted to show Emma the most beautiful places of her city, those places that they were only able to talk about but couldn't visit together. They talked a lot, and they touched and contemplated each other, and they enjoyed the company of those days to the fullest, of that parenthesis in their lives. They didn't think of anything else other than enjoying themselves. They even tried to sleep as few hours as possible so they could enjoy as many waking hours as they could.

They made love over and over again, unable to stop touching each other, pampering each other, dissolving into infinite orgasms, surprised by the reaction of their own bodies that seemed to have gained life of their own, getting aroused by the mere brush of their fingers. The electricity floated in the air with every caress. Silences were filled by words, making up for the need to breathe each other in, the need to listen, touch and love each other, their need to kiss.

Monday

Regina went to work early, by force of habit, not because she had any desire to go. She wanted to be with Emma, she found intolerable those pending hours until she could be with her again. She was thinking about all this while her eyes roamed through the street, and that's when she saw her, spying on her, smiling. Regina's heart skipped a beat when Emma crossed the street and went into the establishment to ask a dumb question. She assisted her feigning modesty and courtesy, displaying the attentive treatment that her boss instilled her to always use on customers. Emma kept making questions regarding one thing or the other, mischievously, smiling shamelessly. At a given moment she slipped her a paper inside a folded map asking her for an address and scribbled on the piece of paper was this message "Gorgeous, I'll wait for you at the hotel later". Regina's nerves were on edge, but it was a delicious kind of nervousness. Emma looked so beautiful with that white shirt and those tight fitting jeans that fit her butt like a glove. Emma left, but Regina knew that she was close, spying on her, observing her daily life. This daily life that until today Emma only knew about through the enormous amount of e-mails that they had exchanged across continents.

As soon as Regina got off work she grabbed a taxi and headed for the hotel, she didn't want to waste any time, she wanted to get to Emma's arms as fast as she could. Tuesday was getting close and Emma would be leaving then. The more she got conscious about it the more the pain in her chest grew. She had promised to be strong, but she couldn't stop a tear here and there from escaping her eyes while she listened to her talking. She couldn't stop thinking about the fact that by this same time tomorrow she would be gone. They ate in a rush wanting to get back to the room as soon as possible to make love and forget about those hours that were going by faster than they should. They made love over and over again until early morning hours, trying to fill themselves with the scent of the other. They finally fell asleep, although Regina kept regretting those few hours of sleep. She should have stayed up all night, so she could keep the taste of Emma's sex in her mouth, imprint her on her body, roam though her body, yet she was running out of time.

Tuesday

Regina arrived too early to her work looking for a chance to talk to her boss and ask him for permission to work only half a day. Who knows what her facial expression was when she approached him that he gave her permission without asking any questions. Regina felt her soul split in two… Emma would be leaving in a few hours and she didn't want to let go. When she got off work, Emma was waiting for her. They took a cab, and they went back to the hotel and tried to ease that pain that was breaking their souls. They cried, made love, and talked. They were trying to look after each other… both were trying to be strong and stay in one piece, so the other wouldn't fall apart.

The airport ordeal was even worse. Thank God the check-in at the counter helped to distract them from the sorrow, but the moment Emma left to board her plane, they hugged, and in that last hug each one kept the soul of the other. Emma told Regina to leave quickly because she wasn't sure she would be able to get on that plane if Regina stayed a minute longer. Regina obeyed and walked away fast, while feeling a huge hand clutching her heart, wanting to cry at the top of her lungs but not being able to do so.

In a futile attempt to get back to her everyday life, Regina went to the supermarket. She roamed the aisles without purpose. She wanted to compose herself before arriving to her mother's house to avoid any questions. How difficult it is to feign composure when your soul is torn up. From this parenthesis, Regina knew that Emma would be a constant in her life regardless of where she was. The future didn't even matter.

Blessed was this parenthesis that allowed Regina to realize that her heart didn't make a mistake in blindly trusting someone that she only knew through words. This blessed parenthesis that allowed both of them to believe once again in dreams, so they didn't succumb to be crushed by the overwhelming reality. Fortunately, sometimes we manage to win a hand over destiny and make the sky turn gold and red…

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it. Please let me know what you think...


End file.
